Never Procrastinate Love

Never again will I procrastinate an act of love.

I knew it well. I do not know why, but I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I had the strongest feeling about an act of love and I let it go.

Last Friday was my friend Ellie’s 86th birthday. Ellie has stage four lung cancer. To have her with us, beautiful and strong, felt like a miracle. Ellie is a wonderful friend, wife and a terrific mother to her family. However, life has not always been easy for Ellie. She lost her own mother when she was only four. After that, her father remarried to a woman who was not very loving towards her. When I thought about what to give Ellie for her birthday I wanted it to be something really special. I thought about hats and candles and purses and picture frames.  However, what I really wanted was to reach in with my heart and touch the place in her heart that hurt and love it. I wanted to be the kind neighbor who lived next door to her when her mother died and offered love, I wanted to take the clock back eighty years and make it all better, if only for a moment. What I really wanted was to give her the emotion that a child feels when she opens a big box to find a beautiful baby doll feeling nothing in life but peace, love and safety.

I searched the internet and I found the perfect doll all dressed in white, with a big white bow in her hair. And then, I went about my business never pushing the send button. A week later the birthday party was upon us and I scrambled to get the doll. Since there was no time for shipping I offered to drive to the warehouse, but that was not allowed. I began calling store after store and came up empty. Sure, there where dolls to be had, but nothing special enough for My Ellie. The day of the party arrived and her daughter assured me that all was fine. Her mother would love the assortment of books I had wrapped. Her party was wonderful. Ellie walked in looking divine to be greeted by ten loving friends. Her daughter had the table decorated for a queen with flowers and chocolates and tons of family photos. We laughed, we ate and we told stories from the past. Then came the moment that I will never forget, when I vowed to myself to never procrastinate an act of love again. Ellie reached over and picked up a photograph of herself holding her daughter when her daughter was just a baby. She looked down at the picture with an expression of joy, then sadness and said to the table, “I never had a baby doll growing up, so Barbara was my doll when she was born.” I wanted to cry. I had lost the moment to touch her heart, to give her the love I so much wished to give her. I lost the moment all because I did not take another five minutes out of life to find my purse and enter my credit card.

When I returned home I immediately ordered the doll and it is on the way to her now. But, she is tired and the chemo leaves her feeling exhausted and often sick. I do not know how she will be feeling when the doll arrives.

I love Ellie and she has taught me many lessons. This lesson is the hardest one to learn, but so very important… When it comes to an act of love, never procrastinate.

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September 30th 2011, “Just Because” Finale.

We have spent the month together bestowing love and support upon others. We hope that the experience has been rewarding for you as it has been for those you cherish and shared your thoughtfulness with. “Wishes” wants you all to know how special we think you are for your loyalty and your participation, with creative ideas and comments. This Wish is for all of you who have taken the time to brighten the day of others, even when your own lives were so busy, Just Because.

We Wish you Love:  An abundance of love to sprinkle across your world; the courage to express your love, and open yourself up to accepting love.

We Wish you the Ability to Forgive:  Remembering that in forgiving you grow stronger, wiser and more peaceful within; as resentment and anger falls away a larger space is left for more compassion and beauty to enter.

We Wish you Health: The realization that you are your own best physician, you have the power to protect, heal and strengthen your physical and emotional self; to make healthy choices, with regard to food, exercise, drugs and drinking; to choose laughter and wellness.

We Wish you Family: To realize the importance of good communication, sharing, support and loyalty. That family encompasses both our family by birth, and those we draw near to us; our friends and family hold our pathway to a life of meaningful relationships that bring joy and belonging into our lives.

We Wish you Purpose: Seeking and discovering the unique gifts you can utilize to make this world a better place; when you continually search for substance and a means to help others you help yourself grow into a fully realized person. We all want to matter, you do, now show how much!

We wish all this Just Because you all matter so much to us!

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September 2nd, 2011 “Just Because…”

Friday, on a three day weekend and the last weekend of the summer yet. Many of us are rushing to get somewhere, making plans and thinking about the weekend. Therefore, we can keep today’s “Just Because” simple. One of my favorites is using your cell phone take a picture of something interesting. It could be a beautiful flower, the sky and clouds, or maybe interesting tree and send it off with a note to someone special. You can take a picture of your mouth with a big smile and say something like “this is my face thinking of you” or take a picture of two tea cups saying “missing you”. When I was living in Los Angeles a group of us would try to get to Spago, Barbara’s restaurant, on Fridays. If one of us could not make it we would stick a glass in front of an empty chair and send them a picture of the chair so they knew they was with us in spirit. This “Just Because ” can be sweet, or funny, but it is always appreciated!

Read the “Just Because…” from September 1st on Facebook! (Here)

 

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Just Because…

What kind of a friend are you? Are you the friend you wish you could be to others? Recently moving from CT, to Seattle, I am again confronted with uneasy thoughts and appreciation for friends. Sometimes we do not realize how much someone is giving to us until there is no one there. I try hard to be a good friend, but there are many times I wish I could do even more. I am sure there are many times I do not realize how much someone else is in need of my love because I am so caught up in my own life. There are times when I turn for a friend and they are not there and I must remind myself of how busy we all are. Recently, I had an old friend invite me to a baby shower for her daughter. Although we are now living on the same coast it is still a plane ride away. With the new move and the kids just starting school I sent a nice gift but explained I was unable to make it. Then unexpectedly I received an e-mail from my friend telling me I must be there, that she needed me. I was so torn about what to do, because of course our children’s needs come first, but I thought of the friend I wanted to be, I want to be the friend who shows up, who you can count on. Especially, when someone has the courage to be honest about their feelings. So I booked a flight to get down to the shower and back, without the children’s schedule being too impacted.

Now I am alone again in a new town. Tears roll down my face as I type this thinking about the friends I have left and worrying if I showed enough appreciation for the simple ways they loved and supported me. I have furniture in places I know it does not belong, glasses and plates in drawers too high, and picture frames everywhere. I know if I where in CT someone would be here with a latte and a smile, and together we would make my house a home. The bright side to starting over is it reminds me of the importance of being a good friend, and the old adage ” we don’t appreciate something until it is gone.” So love and appreciate those sitting next to you.

Tomorrow marks six years from when I wrote the first Wish. Wishes formed when I was returning the love and support I had received from a good friend, my writing partner Barbara Lazaroff. At the time Wishes were short and sweet but the thought was grand. It did not cost anything but a little time and effort.  What I have learned over the years is that it’s the little stuff that counts the most, and it is so easy to give when we are dedicated to giving.

This September Wishes would like to honor how we began with a simple suggestion of love and support everyday. Join us daily for a “Just Because” gesture. You may pick one friend that needs to be spoiled with love daily, or you may give the kind words to a different friend everyday, the choice is yours.

Wishing you lots of love and support,
Tricia

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Wishes in the Media

We’ve been extremely busy letting as many people as possible know about Wishes. Below you can find a few links from our recent interviews.  

Huffington Post: Wishes for Mother’s Heart -Mother’s Day blog entry   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-lazaroff/mothers-day_b_858131.html

Hay House Interview: (Available for a short time only) http://bit.ly/iUXxUv

HealYourLife.com Book  Bite: http://bit.ly/kFKJ7V

2 Minutes with Betsy and Renee on KFWB- live from the LA Times Festival of Books: http://bit.ly/iX5pwv

Barbara on BigMediaUSA.com: http://www.bmbc.tv/episodes/575

ReadingIsFashionable.com Author Interview: http://bit.ly/ljgsWI

With our great team from Hay House!

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Leeza Gibbons on Larry King, 8pm

Tonight, at 8:00 pm, our beautiful friend Leeza Gibbons will be on Larry King, sharing her mother’s battle with Alzheimer’s Disease. When her mother, Jean, was diagnosised with Alzheimer’s Leeza family already knew how horrific the disease could be. Jean’s own mother had passed from it. Although Jean knew the disease would take over her mind, turning her into someone she was not, she still asked Leeza to tell her story for the sake of others. This courageous women put aside any worries of judgement or humiliation so she could help others who face similar struggles. I can only think about how different the world would be if we could all live so heroic. I was privileged to spend time with Leeza ‘s mother days before she lost her battle, and that experience changed my life.

Leeza and I had spoke about her mother many times, so I felt comfortable asking her if I could visit her. It was just something I felt deep inside of me that I had to do. With approval fom Leeza, I traveled to her hometown, in South Carolina, where her mother still lived. Although she wasn’t able to speak a word to me, or look in my eyes, I could feel how much love she had in her heart. I laid at the foot of her on the bed and her overwhelming strength made me feel incredibly safe. When our time together was over I
kissed her good-bye. I was honored to have met a woman whose story would make a difference forever. But, I was saddend to know that this would be our only time together. On my way home I wrote this Wish for Jean.

They call her Jeepers, a name she inherited some sixty years ago.
When I entered her room, I was moved by emotion; words could not
prepare me for her disturbing condition as she slumped uncomfortably
in her chair. Feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, I spoke quietly to
her, but her vacant stare offered no response. I traveled far to be in her
presence, inspired by her story. It had been many years since the thief
we call Alzheimer’s crept into her life, robbing her of everything, only
leaving the physical to endure endless suffering—leaving no hope, no
cure, and devastating those who loved her so dearly. Here she breathed,
living in misery, stripped of her dignity, yet no one I had met before her
was more deserving of self-respect or the respect of others. She had witnessed
the vicious crimes of her disease in her own mother before her.
She was aware that a stranger would enter her mind, diminishing her
grace before she would vanish altogether into her own silence. She was
fully aware of it all, yet she asked her family, for the sake of finding a
cure, to tell her story.

Footage of her demise has been witnessed by countless people,
awakening the need for change; her selfless courage to make a difference
has done just that, made a difference. . . . Her caretakers moved her to
the bed and she immediately curled into a fetal position as if desperately
trying to return to a place of warmth and safety. I moved to the bed with
her and curled at her feet. Over time a peace, a comfort, overtook me.
There I read to her, I rubbed her aching body, and sang her a lullaby.
In those moments, I fell in love with this great woman, honored by the
opportunity to show my gratitude. For you, I wish the dignity of Jeepers.

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from Barbara: Birth Day Wishes for a Mother’s Heart & Timely Life Moment

Today our book Wishes for a Mother’s Heart is officially released by our publisher Hay House.
I know how excited my co-author, more importantly my dear friend Tricia LaVoice, is today as I am as well.
The release coincides with my elder son’s thesis submission, he called me last evening to ask if I would ‘check the grammar’ before he sent it to his professor. I asked how long it was; it was 70 pages, a years work, or more accurately his almost 22 years of life.
All those moments of repeating words to him when he was an infant, all the books read, often over and over because he had, as most children do, two or three favorites, until he had them memorized and would “read” along with me. All those times we went over his spelling words, “Cameron, my mom used to tell me this is the only test you should always get a perfect grade on because you know all the answers beforehand!” All the sentences we wrote with those new magical words, and all the years of late night essay writing. Today my son submits his thesis on James Bradley and the Aberration of Light and Nutation, (not mutation, nutation), I had to look the word up, not unlike all those times I said, “Cameron use the dictionary!” This paper is as he said last evening, “only a brief history of the subject of light”. I asked, “Will you publish this?” He told me no, but it will go into the library at Tufts and one day he may use it as a basis for more thorough history of the subject, “there’s really no definitive book on this subject”. So we spoke of his future dissertation, and the idea of writing “a tome on the history of light”, and I found my mind and heart wandering back to my son in his bassinet before he could turn, before I could imagine what he would imagine himself doing with the life that was now before him. I also found myself realizing that yes, I am proud, and yes I finally feel that he is happier and more directed in his life, and that he’s ready to fly. There was both an immense joy and a great deal of nostalgia, but mostly the best Mother’s Day gift I could ever have received. He had called because he wanted to share with me, his mom, this immense moment of accomplishment in his life. This time, as the last, when he asked me to review the first twenty pages of his thesis, (with mathematical computations far exceeding my comprehension), he didn’t truly need me to do so, he just wanted to let me know he was doing something he truly loved, and doing it quite well at that!
So today as Wishes for a Mother’s Heart is birthed to the public, Tricia and I want to share our “baby” with you, never forgetting that the reason we could produce these words of love, support, and both women’s and mother’s wisdom, is that we have weathered the challenges and gifts of being mothers and women who support other women in our lives. Enjoy the messages from our heart and our gift of friendship to you.

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A Pair of Shoes Can Go Along Way!

Blake Mycoskie, “chief shoe giver,” founder of Tom’s shoes, created the company to provide shoes for needy children around the globe. Children get serious, even life threatening, diseases without shoes. They must walk for miles and miles for clean water. Also, many children are denied an education because they cannot attend school without shoes. Blake is helping to change children’s lives. A pair of shoes makes a huge difference! He’s given away over a million! I have a pair, very comfortable. He’s a lovely guy who gave up many of his material possessions and lives on a boat docked in LA! Xx. Barbara

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Summit at Sea

The speed networking was exhausting, but exhilarating at the same time. I met fascinating people in all areas of business, philanthropy, venture capital people, startups, performers. Etc. Richard Branson just said something that cracked me up. They asked how did you just call someone up and say “I want to buy a 747?” He explained it and the company selling it said “Well, with a name like Virgin.. I hope your company goes all the way!” Now he’s explaining, “if you are a true entrepreneur you learn not micro-manage. After the company gets big, you have to learn the art of delegation, so you can spend time creating other business, so you can be at home with the kids and wife.” Oh and how could I forget! He’s addressing concerns of the working moms. “There aren’t enough companies that understand the necessity of more time for moms (for the children) and more free time for employees… They perform better, are happier and are more loyal” - Barbara

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Hay House-NYC

Hay House NYC with AMAZING Richelle

It is a funny thing… and a fantastic thing, to discover how many people write privately as an outlet to their daily lives. Since signing with Hay House, many people have shared with me their writing, and their desires to get published. Yesterday, I was in Manhattan to go over some last minute details with the Hay House-New York team . I caught a cab on 57th and Park Ave heading south. The cabbie was a wonderful, very chatty young man. Desperate for conversation he asked me endless questions. Where are you going? What are you doing there? Why are you doing that? And so on. I found his quizzical nature amusing and provided him with some conversation to break up his day. When I said I was going to Hay House he got so excited and pulled out his little brown book that held his heart’s desires… Poetry at its finest. He began reading me his work and asking me again and again, “you get it, you get it?” Honestly, all I got was nervous as he drove and read to me at the same time. Trying to sound delighted and impressed, I suggested he watch the road a few times. But, he was so excited to have an audience that I do not think he heard me. When he got me to my destination safely we said our goodbyes as fellow writers. It was great!

 

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